I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
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ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
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So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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