that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
