Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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