Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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