It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
