I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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