Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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