I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
