we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
