The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
