Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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