i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
