There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
