i was born a porn star she said
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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