I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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