you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize