all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dignity is for republicans.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
