I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
