so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
