Don't you send me to vm
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
