Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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