So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The power of my boobs compel you
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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