Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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