She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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