How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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