he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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