My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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