can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
