my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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