hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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