he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Im part way to drunk.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
