He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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