am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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