I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize