But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
