dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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