This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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