she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
