R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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