I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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