laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
