I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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