Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
