And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
