I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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