with your own penis?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
