I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize