is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
His nipple licking is glorious
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