the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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