What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
