How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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