I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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