I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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