ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
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fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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