By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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