I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just google imaged poop.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
